Yellow State of Mind

In my short 22 years here on this planet called Earth, I've learned a thing or two. I've learned that red means stop, and green means go. But I have also learned that yellow is my favorite color. I like it because red and green are so cut and dry, whereas yellow leaves a little room to dare. Yellow, in my opinion, is also the most vibrant, happy color in the color wheel. At the risk of sounding like a total hippie, I want to live a very yellow life. I want a life that exemplifies vibrant, daring happiness. While I'm not naive enough to expect this to happen on it's own, I'm not cynical enough to believe it's beyond reach.

Happiness, I've learned, is something we must choose. I believe our culture has fallen prey to the idea that what we want should be served to us on a sliver platter. We easily embrace a spirit of entitlement and feel utterly lost when what we think we "deserve" doesn't come in a neatly wrapped package with a bow on top. And what's even worse? Sometimes that mess of a package is only opened to find that we've been handed lies, heartbreak, and death. This has a way of leaving us jaded--always ready to pull that "Victim" card out of our back pocket.

chronic unhappiness: the unfortunate diagnosis I would give to several people I know.

I'll be honest...I have no idea if this is a real diagnosis of any kind. I'm sure if it were, it would have a much longer, much fancier name. However, this is the best I can come up with. The scary reality is that we all have an equal chance of suffering from chronic unhappiness. No, we don't all live the same life. No, we don't endure the same hardships as everyone around us. BUT...we do endure hardships, nonetheless. I've seen so many people meet similar challenges in extremely different ways. A select few rise to the occasion. It's as if all they see is a giant green light ushering them onward. I admire those people. But I've also seen many people come head to head with challenges unable to see past the glaring red light that paralyzes them with fear. They walk around with a chip on their shoulder, no longer seeing the world as their oyster, but as their prison cell. It is these people that my heart breaks for. Cynicism, judgment, and anxiety cling to them like parasites. They suffer from chronic unhappiness and probably don't even know it. 

My hope is for people to reach a yellow state of mind. This state of mind would involve meeting challenges head on. It would acknowledge the choice to passively slow down and wait for the storm to pass, or speed through the intersection holding fast to the wheel. This mindset would weigh it's options quickly and carefully, then floor it. I know people say that life is "short, fragile, delicate, uncertain," and a plethora of synonyms along these lines. I say that's bull. All these things are true, yes. But if you walk through life like you're walking on egg shells, what are you really doing? Happiness is a choice that often involves risk...if you ask me, it's a risk worth taking. 

My friend Shea posted an article in her blog and it talks about giving things up in order to be happy. I think it is so on point and challenges me to live a life that is worthy of the calling I've received.

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy - World Observer Online

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Read the whole article here!

xo, 

Katie